QANTArSe

QANTArSe. I would like to say what a shambles, but that would denote a level of disorganisation. I conclude, based on my experiences (details below), that the airline has the typical structured contempt that corporations reserve for cattle, I mean customers, who deviate from an intentionally-set narrow norm.

In several linked episodes over a week, I encountered:

Jumping-through-hoops to amend a (changeable) reservation due to bereavement. In addition the change had the obvious benefit of saving the airline money. It would take four passengers off a full-flight (Qantas could then resell the seats for a higher fare) and put them onto a half-empty plane. Not even a Qantas UK corporate account sales manager could arrange this. The matter had to be referred to Australia, where it was midnight and nobody was available to authorise. In the meantime - a bereaved family were left in a limbo while available Qantas flights left without them.

To be fair the Qantas airfares were cheap and not everyone was a disempowered indifferent prevaricating jobsworth.

The complete inability to seat two-people together two-weeks in advance (on the return) when the seats were available. The request was made due to bereavement.

My wife nearly being left-behind because of an oversold flight and misrepresentations (to be kind) about the status of her reservation and seats. It was only because I was assertive that a seat miraculously appeared.

Later, nearly an hour's wait at the understaffed Heathrow Qantas ticket desk (only one staff member) to have an last-minute e-Ticket issued. This is despite the fact it was booked directly through a Qantas call centre. As it was midnight in Auckland, New Zealand (where the call had diverted) - I can only presume all their ticketing-staff had gone home.


QANTAS: The Spirit of Australia wordpress.com

A big song-and-dance when I asked to have laptop-computer charged on-board. Qantas please note: Etihad and Korean, whom I have flown with in the past - both have sockets under their economy seats.

Then there were hand-luggage Nazis at Melbourne airport. I had to check-in a bag that was one-kilo over the seven-kilo limit. This may be due to Tullamarine Airport restrictions (I can only imagine that you are able to buy more duty-free if you are not overloaded). However, It would not surprise me if Qantas and other airlines were complicit in this arrangement (Commission?).

To be fair the Qantas airfares were cheap and not everyone was a disempowered indifferent prevaricating jobsworth. We did encounter some cheerful and helpful people (the gate staff in Melbourne)

Actually I'm sure the front-line staff are doing the best job possible with the resources at hand and the authority available.

But excuses aside - the whole experience was bloody hard work.

The quality of brand Australia is being eroded by the standard set by the managers of its flag carrier.

It might be time to roll-out some hotties in bikinis. An international advertising campaign might repair the damage.

So where the bloody hell are you? could be the slogan.

The answer to that might be: I'm in London. I was bumped off my flight.

If this is the Spirit of Australia, then I'm off to New Zealand.