cookemedia

Pineapple contains the enzyme bromelain which is thought to bring on labour.

Parked in his mother’s womb, and with three-weeks to go, we felt and saw our son jump out of his skin today.

Not literally mind. You’d need to deploy Ripley (for you Alien aficionadi) to sort-out that shit.

It would be more accurate to describe the event as a fair attempt to jump out of Amy’s skin.

Her stomach lurched violently sideways as if struck side-on at high-speed by an invisible car.

The catalyst for this turn of events was a raspberry on the belly. Not of the fruit variety, rather: pursed lips, a sudden expulsion of air, and a hydraulic hiss.

Or, like an explosive whip crack fart if you prefer.

When the guilt eventually subsides from: unintentionally scaring the bejesus from our baby; and for the fit-of-laughter that followed – it will be a reassurance to know that Max has the reflexes of a cat and the side-step of Christian Cullen.

Duck failed to notice bump-berg directly ahead